"This is too damn boring! When are we gonna get to wherever you wanna go?" Daze asked, wiping sweat off her forehead. "I don't know! You're human, you have all the blood and stuff! If you want to know if we're lost, put some blood on the trail so we can backtrack!" Fate said, sighing heavily. "I'm not a woods person..."
"Why do you have that hoodie on, anyway? It's too hot out for so much clothing..." Daze asked, walking ahead of Fate. "Let's see... Because my father gave me this, and my father is an extremely important person to me." Fate replied, stopping for a moment to think. "He always had a bunch of hoodies... Each one colored oddly..."
"You're not gonna tell me who your father is?" Daze asked, circling around Fate. "His name is ... Jack Skellington." Fate said, pausing for a moment to think that lie through. "The pumpkin king, eh? You couldn't be, though. They don't allow girls in the pumpkin king's line of work." Daze said, grinning.
"And how would you know this?" Fate asked, looking at Daze. "I lived in Halloweentown once, too, you know." Daze replied, giggling. "Don't deny who your father really was! I want to know exactly who your father REALLY is!" Daze said, slowing her skipping around. Fate sighed, about to answer the question.
"You don't need to know, do you?" Fate asked, sighing. "Besides, I'm gonna explore more of the holidays. They might have something worth buying..." "Ergh..." Daze sighed, walking into the circle of trees. "Which door now?" "...I don't know..." Fate said, looking at the holiday doors.
"DUSH!" The Author said, popping out of the Fourth Of July Holiday door. "I love The Fourth of July... So many explosives..." "...Is that why your [BLEEPIS] is blown off and you're streaking?" Fate asked, covering her eyes. The Author looked down for a moment. "...I'm more wasted than I thought..." he fell down, bleeding profusely.
"... I'm sorry you're related to him..." Daze said, shaking her head in shame. "Nah. He just knows me by name. He gets along with my father well, though. Unless The Author is breathing. Then My Father kicks his ass..." Fate said, giggling slightly. "I guess we're going into the Fourth Of July Holiday door..."
"...You sure? I mean, there ARE explosives..." Daze commented, knocking on the door. "We'll be fine, you pansy." Fate smiled, reaching for the door handle. Suddenly, the entire door exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. Some of the debris hit Fate in the head, some hit Dazes arm, and the others hit the area where The Authors [Bleepis} used to be. "...I cannot define how much pain I am feeling right now... In my [Bleepis]... LOTS OF PAIN..." The Author said, rolling back and forth.
"Aw, dammit!" Fate thought, bending over to Daze. "Don't say anything. I'll need silence." Fate took her fingers and gently broke the very tip off. A little bit of blood came out, and it landed on the wound. The pieces of chipped wood slowly came out, and Fate pulled them out and threw them in The Authors direction. They landed in his skull. He will not be missed.
Daze shook her head, recovering from that odd experience. "What the hell was that?" She asked, rather confused. "That was The Author, screaming for a moment before he got shrapnel in his head." Fate commented, standing up. She kicked The Author, seeing if he's alive. "I think my dad's gonna be happy when he hears about this..."
"Not that! THE BLOOD! What the hell kinda blood was that?" Daze asked, also standing up. "I got it from my father. He donated quite a bit of blood to put in these bones of mine. Only for emergencies, though..." Fate sighed, putting the finger back in the right position. "Can't you just tell me what your fathers name is already?" Daze asked, fumes coming out from her head like an animal crossing person thingy.
"ALRIGHT, FINE! ... His name was ... Miracle." Fate said, finally giving in. Daze looked extremely pale for a moment, and she vomited blood. Fate was slightly horrified at the sighed, but she recovered quickly. "OMGWTFOMFG! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?" Fate screamed, helping Daze up. "...Fine... Fine... I just had an upset stomach for a moment... The name reminded me of something that happened to me a while ago... I just can't put my finger on it..." Daze said, shaking her head. "I'm fine now, though..."
"...Alright..." fate said, scratching her head. "If you get sick again, I'm gonna have to do something serious..." "Like what?" Daze asked, somewhat nervous. "Iunno... Kick the Author for some answers?" Fate replied, scratching her skull. "Oh, wait... He's dead..." "NO! I REFUSE TO DIE!" The Author said, jumping back up. "...You know what? I don't even care anymore..." Fate sighed, shaking her head.
"I am alive because I love Pikmen and Puni's! I refuse to die without finally meeting them!" The Author said, jumping into the Fourth Of July holiday tree. "TOO THE PUNIS!" the Author jumped through, screaming obscenities. "...I cannot think of anything witty to say about that right now..." Fate said, jumping into the tree. Daze followed, and the door reassembled and reconnected itself to the tree.
Right after they left, the Blood Daze threw-up melted into the ground. A few seconds later, in the same spot, flowers popped up. IT'S REAL! The script says so! WHAT!? YOU CAN'T IMAGINE IT!? ... Go play Candyland or something, I don't even care anymore...
Fate and Daze landed on a hill, spinning and spinning on the grass. After they managed to see clearly, they looked at their surroundings. They immediately noticed some fireworks. "AUTHOR! NONONO! NO TOUCHY OF THE EXPLOSYS!" Fate yelled, seeing The Author light a match. "What? It's only enough fireworks to destroy The Pumpkin Patch. Live a little, why don'cha?" The Author said, lighting the fireworks.
"AUGH! NO MORE, TIKARA, NO MORE!" Willy Wonka screamed, running by. The fireworks turned around, aiming itself at The Author. "WILLY! YOU OWE ME A REMATCH! WE DIDN'T EVEN FINISH THAT AIR HOCKEY GAME, DARN YOU!" Tikara said, flying by at speeds faster than I can type.
"...Oh, dammit. I'm going to pray silently for a momeOH MY LORD THE PAIN!" The Author said, the fireworks blowing up his pants. "HELP! MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE! MY UNDERWEARS STARCHING UP! I NEED ALCHOHOL TO COOL MYSELF DOWN!" The Author screamed, running into the sunset. "... Why does this remind me of Brokeback Mountain?" Daze asked, tilting her head. "... I'm not going to justify that with an answer." Fate said, walking down the hill.
They searched the town, seeing what they could find that might interest them. They ended up in a warehouse, finding boxes full of explosives. "THE MOTHERLOAD! HOLY S***, THE MOTHERLOAD!" Fate screamed, kicking open a box. "With these many explosives, we might actually have a chance of breaking the fourth wall!" "...Do you hear something?" Daze asked, looking around for a moment.
They peeked around the corner, hearing two oldish people talking. They gasped, seeing who it was that was speaking. "So THESE are the WMD's?" President Bush asked, opening a crate. "Yup. I had to shoot someone for it. I claimed I was 'hunting'." Vice-president Dick Cheney commented, taking a crowbar and opening another box.
"O_O...OhmiGOD, this is a perfect opportunity..." Fate smiled, grabbing a piece of fireworks. "...No need..." Daze commented, pointing at the figures that were horribly representing our country. They saw The Author sneaking up the president, and they slowly backed away.
"So YOU'RE President Bush?" The Author asked, tapping the president on the shoulder. The president gasped, turning around very quickly. "Aw, S***! The guy in the hoodie again!" Bush screamed, backing away. "...Oh, you must have meant... Oh, yeah, I DID try and get you out of office, didn't I?" The Author commented, smiling slightly.
"Why!? WHY MUST YOU RETURN AGAIN!?" Bush screamed, backing up into a corner. "...Well, this IS a holiday... I just wanna blow something up..." The Author said, taking out a match. "HOLY S**, KID! DON'T MOVE!" Cheney said, taking the match. "...You're paying for that." The Author said, taking out another.
"...Please tell me this is your last one..." Cheney said, taking that match also. "...The last one in this pack, yes." The Author said, taking out a whole case of matches. "o
_____. THAT IS NOT GOOD!" Bush said, cowering in the corner. Suddenly, a SWAT team arrived, The FBI crashed through a window, the FCC walked into the building through a door, and Osama Bin Laden came out of a rather large crate.
"ZOUNDS! My hiding spot has been founded!" Osama said, jumping through a window. "The Author, you are under arrest for attempting to assassinate the president, un-authorized use of explosives, scarring thousands of people for the rest of their lives, possibly hiding Osama Bin Laden, and using the names of the SWAT, the FCC, and the FBI without a warrant." A man in black said, hand-cuffing The Author.
"O_O... I founded Osama?" The Author asked, sounding astonished. "Well, he just ran out of the door. So we're gonna go with 'you assisted him in escaping'." The man said, pushing The Author out the door. "'Bout damn time we found him." Another guy said, lighting a match. He lit his cigar and threw the match away. The match was still lit, though, and it landed on a box of explosives.
Chaos ensued.
The building exploded, firecrackers going off everywhere. The Author managed to escape, actually free of harm. Everyone in the building managed to escape to, because of they were damaged, they would trace it to me, and if they traced it to me, I'd be in some deep doodie.
"...you know what? That was the greatest Kodak moment of my life." Fate said, putting a camera away. "And it's all been recorded... Now if only someone would animate it..." "Didn't we come here for another reason besides blowing stuff up?" Daze asked, lying on the mountain. "Oh, yeah... We should explore the town, then..." Fate said, walking down the hill. Daze followed, and they walked into ANOTHER bar, this time with actual rules!
"ALRIGHT! ANY OF YOU GOT ANY INFORMATION THAT MIGHT BE USEFUL!?" Fate announced, standing on a table. Everyone pointed a gun at her. "...ANYONE HERE NOT WANNA KILL ME!?" Fate asked, slowly stepping off the table. "WAITWAITWAIT! SHE'S WITH ME!" Tikara said, floating on top onto Fates head. "Oh... Alrighty, then." Everyone said at once, putting their guns down and drinking again.
"...What the hell was that?" Daze asked, tilting her head. "Oh, those are friends I've made." Tikara said gleefully. "And what the hell are you?" Daze asked, pulling on Tikara's Tail. Tikara yelped, and put Daze in a floating bubble. "NEVER TOUCH THE TAIL!" Tikara stated, floating up to the bubble's level.
"I am Tikara, one of Fate's best friends, and a long time buddy to the now too-old-for-his-own-good Miracle." Tikara stated, slowly lowering the bubble. Daze collapsed in the bubble, coughing up even more blood. "Is something wrong with her?" Tikara asked, popping the bubble. "Everytime I say Miracle, she---" Then Daze threw up again.
"DAMMIT, TIKARA! DON'T SAY THAT NAME!" Fate said, covering Tikara's mouth. Tikara floated through Fate's arms, and went back to being talkative. "Why can't I say Miracle?" Daze threw up. "I mean, Miracle's not a bad name. I think Miracle is a nice name. So why can't I say Miracle?" Daze almost passed out, rolling around in her own vomit.
Fate grabbed Tikara, pulling her into her hoodie for a brief moment. "LISTEN! I don't know WHY she's sick, but I DO know that we shouldn't say THAT name. Got it?" Fate asked, trying to be quiet. "Right, right. No saying your father's name." Tikara said, sounding cheerful again. "... Ever notice how you feel so warm under this hoodie?" Tikara asked, glomping Fate. "...Er... No. Can you please get out?" Fate asked, pushing Tikara out of the hoodie.
"Anyway, why are you here, of all places?" Fate asked Tikara, helping Daze into a seat. "I think your father took me here. I mean, he was in the hoodie, and he sounded just like him..." Tikara said, shaking her head. "Something was wrong. He just didn't feel... Comforting. Or glompable." Tikara said, floating over the table.
"...That sounds nothing like my father, though..." Fate replied, shaking her head. "Well, he locked me out, so I'm not gonna be able to leave any time soon..." Tikara commented, landing on top of Fate's head. "WHAT!? Couldn't you have contacted me or something with your psychic abilities!?" Fate asked, petting Tikara.
"Nah. I wanted to stay." Tikara commented, giggling slightly. "Let me guess... Willy?" Fate asked, picking Tikara up. "Yup. He's drinking upstairs." Tikara said, almost purring. "I'm gonna go upstairs and see him. We got beds up there and everything!" Tikara said, hugging Fate. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, then." Fate said, petting Tikara. Tikara teleported herself upstairs, leaving Fate and Daze at the table.
"SOMETHING is wrong with my father... It just doesn't sound right..." Fate thought, picking up Daze. She brought her upstairs, lying her on a bed. Fate sat on the bed besides it, and looked at the ceiling. "And to think, he doesn't know that I know the truth..." Fate sighed, fluffing up her pillows. She went into the bathroom and put on some pajamas that Tikara was nice enough to leave for her. She came back out, and was rather surprised by what she saw.
"GODDAMMIT, YOU! STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER!" Fate said, pulling The Author out from under Daze's covers. "AW, C'MON! She was sleeping and I wasn't!" The Author said, climbing out of the bed. "I NEED TO SLEEP SOMEWHERE! If you wanna sleep, sleep in the other room so I don't have to wake up realizing you exist!" Fate commented, pushing The Author out of the room.
"I thought you would ENJOY sleeping in bed with Daze..." The Author giggled, walking out of the room. "And WHAT is THAT supposed to mean!?" Fate asked, kicking The Author in the nuts. Fate closed the door, leaving The Author to bleed. Fate slept in her bed, thinking thoughts that I can't describe here because that would ruin the story a couple chapters later. Seeya next time!
